Radical Unschooling

Recently, a Facebook friend asked if I am "an unschooler or a radical unschooler?" I'll admit, I didn't know the difference! But having read this, I can say that I am definitely a radical unschooler.
Here is my response to my friend:

Thanks for asking - this is all very new to us (started this spring). So it feels good to think about and articulate the whys.

I read John Holt's first book, "How Children Fail" and I really loved it. I saw myself and my kids in it all over! I read snippets here and there to my husband. And we both completely changed our ideas about homeschooling and schooling in general.

We do have set bedtimes for the kids, and they have chores, etc. Also, what we serve for dinner is what is available. They can choose to eat it or not. But that's all that is available. I think these things are for me - because I am the mom, and I get to have some say in how I run my house. Otherwise, I would not enjoy it, and would not want to do homeschool or even have kids for that matter.

So I think we are radical in that we have changed our mindset about schooling completely. We have no expectations of the kids to "do school". Outside of their responsibilities to do their chores and obey mom and dad, they are free to do as they wish throughout the day. We find they are learning constantly. In fact, I started yesterday to write about it, and I gave up. It was too much to type and I wanted to do other things!! :)

Hope this answers your questions. Thanks for the opportunity.

Unschooling

Every year I go through this. My yearly rethinking of all things homeschool. This year, I am reading John Holt's "How Children Fail" and absolutely loving it. It rings true to me. I have promised myself that I will not make any decisions about next years' school until I have finished reading this book, and also his "Teach Your Own" book on homeschooling. John Holt is considered to be the father of "unschooling", a home school philosophy that I would have never imagined myself signing on with. I am also going to the MASS HOPE homeschooling convention in April, and want to hold off on deciding until I have taken in what is there.

But what I am taking away from all of this is that there really is no right or wrong way of learning - only the way that works for your family, for your individual child and in that season in which you find yourselves.
On our recent trip to Chicago, we were able to go to 3 different museums - and the kids learned so much. I didn't "make" them learn. I didn't even direct so much where we were going once we got there, except to say that we were staying together. So the 8 year old had his turn, and then the 5 year old would say "let's look over there!", and then the 3 year old would lead us in another direction altogether. But through all of this we were together, learning and having fun. Even mom (especially mom) was learning. I wonder how I could make our homeschool more like going to the museum? I don't want to set up exhibits, but maybe I could pull out resources and interest the kids in one thing or another. I am drawn to the idea of being a resource person (like a librarian) or a facilitator (like the workers at the museum) rather than a teacher. How do I reconcile that with my conventional ideas about schooling?
I saw on the internet the idea of schooling through games, which appeals to me. Growing up in Chicago, I remember playing games nearly all winter. And my oldest grew by leaps and bounds in his math when we gave up on the formal curriculum and played Monopoly for a season. But even in games, it feels too much like mom is leading. I have a hard time relaxing and get all bent out of shape when my kids want to do their own "house rules" of games. Why is that?
Lastly, what I read in John Holt's book seems to resonate with the things we are learning at Option. To go toward what you want instead of using fear and anger as motivators (for ourselves and others). How much of school is motivated by fear and anger rather than by the pure joy of learning something you want to know about? And there is a time for everything. Five years ago, you couldn't have paid to me to read up about chickens. But when I wanted to know about them, I was a voracious learner. I now know more than I probably need to and it was an enjoyable experience. I can't say that about much of my formal school experiences.

What have you done?

(mine are in bold )

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea or from an airplane
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

My friends' home

Just a year after the first flooding, my friends' home has flooded again. I am praying for them. Insurance gave them a really hard time last time. They've been living like they are camping out in their own home for the past week.

Merry Christmas

In Fertility

When hubby and I were trying to get pregnant 10 years ago, we had some tests done. We were older (34 and 38) and wanted to be sure we weren't just spinning our wheels. A doctor called and told us that we would not be able to become pregnant without serious medical assistance. Funny thing. Turns out I was pregnant when we got the call.
So we chose not to believe the medical community then, and went on to have three wonderful, amazing kids.
Recently we've become committed to the notion of letting God choose the size of our family. By that I mean, we are not trying to become pregnant. But we are not trying not to, either.
Two very difficult (physically) miscarriages later, we are throwing up our hands. And going back to the doctor.
Yesterday, I answered a lot of questions and endured the usual poking and prodding known as gynecology at the Center for Advanced Reproductive Services at University of Connecticut. In the end, I am told, it will probably be determined that I am simply old. (I could have told you that!!) But to me, that doesn't explain the difficulty with which I have been miscarrying. I had miscarried before each of the children. And those miscarriages were an entirely different experience.
So when they asked me, Do you want to be pregnant? Are you going for a fourth child? I know I must have seemed odd to them. I would be okay with being pregnant. I would be okay with not being pregnant. I'm just not okay with being so disabled by miscarriages that I am unable to be of use to my family.
They want me to go through a bunch of tests. Some only involve bodily fluids and aren't that invasive. Those I would do. But the one where they shoot my uterus full of dye and take x-rays - that seems like it would do more harm than good. And the endometrial biopsy - same thing. I have to think that after each of these I would be bleeding like crazy all over again. I'd rather not entice my body to hemorrhage.
But the truly mind-boggling part of the day, was meeting with the financial coordinator. It seems my insurance, Connecticare, doesn't cover infertility treatments. Cool. I have no problem with that. I wouldn't want to do invitro or clomid or any of the other things that are done to promote fertility. I am fertile. That I don't have problems with! I just don't want to bleed for months and lose babies right and left.
So they suggested that I get my tubes tied or a hysterectomy. If I don't want to be pregnant, why not? I guess my response is a little counter-cultural. I want to keep my organs and have them work correctly. I want to leave whether or not I have another baby up to God. And I would like help figuring out why it's not working.
So I guess Connecticare would prefer to pay for emergency D &C's and ultrasounds rather than help me get well. Apparently they would pay for a hysterectomy if it were medically necessary. I think a few tests would be cheaper.
In the end, I am glad, because it makes my decision easier. I will do the blood work, IF it's covered. And I am beginning treating myself with Progesterone Cream. (Read Dr. John Lee's book, What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Pre-Menopause).
And I will ask God what He is up to.

An Important Vote

Okay, so this isn't the presidential vote, but it's still important. Our friend, Aaron Blue, is a finalist for the Art of Manliness contest. The prize includes $2000, which Aaron will put towards his ministry to orphans in Thailand.
So please check it out, and vote for Aaron Blue.