Lemon Cake

Today was one of those days when I could look at the glass half-empty or half-full. On the one hand, I did finally make it to the transfer station with a huge load of trash that had taken over my garage. So, hurray! I can park the car in the garage again. Pat myself on the back. And the 8yo boy and I installed a new dimmer switch on the dining room light - so now I can turn it on and off all the way. Good job! And I held my own with the kids when they were whiny and grumpy. I was very consistent. Yippee!
On the other hand, the dead chicken got to me. The neighbor's dog was in the hen house when we returned from the transfer station. A half eaten chicken in it's mouth. And if dog's could smile, she was. She wagged her tail and was happy to see me - no clue she'd done anything I'd disapprove of. I carried her back to our neighbor's house. My neighbor is suffering from some crippling disease (they don't know what it is) and she can barely talk and walk. I felt like such a schmuck telling her that her dog just ate my chicken (which also means the two we found dead on Saturday were the dog's doing, also). She felt soooo bad. I just wanted the dog locked up until I could clean up the dead chicken, and secure the fence better. I don't know how the dog could get in. But I had to go before we could discuss it, because the kids were home alone.
Later her hubby called, and I told him it was no big deal. And it isn't. I am down to 4 chickens now, having lost 3 in the last week. I think I may give up on the whole thing.
Here's the rub: I feel like I failed my chickens. It's my fault they died. So later today, when 8 yo boy was wrestling with 2 you girl and smacked her head on the ground, I went ballistic. Because I was already responsible for one death that day, and didn't want anything else on my conscience. He hated me for the rest of the day. It really spiraled. I wish I had handled it differently and not yelled at him. In the end, he went to bed early for throwing things at me. Come to think of it, all three kids threw something at me today. What's with that?
So now I am making Lemon Cake to assuage my guilty conscience. My friend asked me to bake a cake. I am hoping that it turns out well so that I will feel good about myself again. How messed up is that? My self-worth depends on a lemon poppy seed layer cake.