Freak Tractor Accident

I had heard about them: Freak Tractor Accidents. I never knew anyone who was involved in one, personally. Until today.

I suppose that living in the country, it was inevitable. But we've only been here a year!

This afternoon, I drove with the three kids in the minivan to the farm where we get our milk. (Yes, we drink raw milk - but I'll post about that another time). The farmer was out with the snowblower, and he asked me to move my car from the driveway by the house to the driveway in front of the barn. So I did, and I got my milk.

When I tried to back out the driveway, I kept hitting ice and getting stuck. I was attempting to back up a slight hill. But it was more level closer to the barn. So I pulled forward a couple of inches and tried again. And again. And again. Until such point as I was up behind the big, green tractor.

Not being a stupid person, I put the car in park, and flagged down the farmer. I explained that this California girl seemed unable to back out the driveway, and that I had run out of room. "No problem,"he said, "I'll just move the tractor and give you more room."

So I stood outside my car, the three kids strapped inside it, and watched. He got on the tractor, which faced the other way from the minivan and started it up. Here's the freaky part. Two things kind of like a tow hitch on the back of a pick up were on the back of this tractor. I gather you would attach a shovel or plow, or any number of things to the back of the tractor with these. They began about a quarter of an inch in front of my front bumper. But then they jutted back into my bumper and began to raise up. The car went with.

Maybe this whole thing took about 10 seconds. I don't know. Because I was screaming and waving my arms like a lunatic. "STOP!!! SSSSSTTTTOP!!!! To no avail because he was wearing headphones from when he had been using the snowthrower. Finally he noticed and stopped. The car came back down, and the bumper ripped off the front of the car, and was hanging there, like a plow attachment.

I was totally freaking out for those few seconds. But as soon as the car was back on the ground, and I knew the kids were okay, it all seemed way too funny to me. The farmer was taking his turn to freak out now. We were both shocked at what had happened. "I didn't see that coming," I said. "Me, neither." He agreed.

My big concern was getting the kids home. So he helped me by getting bungee cords from the barn and bungeeing the bumper back on so I could drive it home. It looks like it's a series of plastic screws hook it back together. So hopefully we can get it all fixed without too much cost.

Curriculum

I haven't written for some time about what we are doing in our homeschool.

The question I get asked the most is: Does someone tell you what to teach? The answer is no. In our state we commit to teaching our kids the same subjects that they teach in public school. But there is no suggestion (and no requirement) as to scope or sequence.

The most important thing I teach my children is how to love the Lord. So we talk about Him throughout our day, read our Bibles and have regular worship times together (I am working on playing the guitar).

Next most important is loving others. It is a constant challenge to teach the kids methods for getting along and loving each other. Most days we do see progress. Other days it feels like all was for naught!

The third most important thing I teach the kids is to read, and read well. For this I have used Phonics Pathways by DorBooks. Our oldest finished the book this year, which means he is reading at a 4th grade level. Our middle child is working through the book now. It's a great investment as you only need one book to teach as many children as you want.

Next I am teaching the kids to use math in their lives. They learn to tell time, make change, estimate, multiply and divide, and use fractions. Almost all these things we all do on a daily basis. We did Grocery Cart Math in the store. We cook a lot and measure. We double, triple and half recipes which already use fractions. The kids have some of their own money and are free to spend it as they please. We also play lots of Yahtzee, Monopoly and other games that involve counting, and adding and subtracting. We also use a book called Mental Math, one called Math Their Way, and a computer program called Quarter Mile Math. I do all of these in whatever order or amount seems right for each child that day. I don't try to follow any curriculum straight through (except Phonics Pathways for reading).

We are learning Spanish this year in anticipation of our trip (now in 2009) to Guatemala. Our friend will be teaching the kids once a week, in addition to using Rosetta Stone computer software.

For science, we study what the kids are interested in. The oldest found some Kitchen Chemistry and Slimy Chemistry sets at the Transfer Station (trash). He likes to conduct the experiments in the box. We slaughter chickens and talk about the various body parts. We notice the weather, the seasons, the temperature. We studied Astronomy last year, and find the stars and moon a constant topic of discussion.

History is the subject which probably gets the most time. It's really very fun studying history with kids. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we began this fall studying the American Revolution through the movies. Ask our boy anything about the revolution or founding fathers and he can tell you. He really soaked it in.

Next we studied Lewis and Clark, followed by Mark Twain. We have seen 7 different movies of Tom Sawyer; everything from animation with the characters as animals, to claymation, to live theater. We visited Mark Twain's house in Hartford.

Now we are beginning our study of the Gold Rush. After that I am thinking we will look into Abraham Lincoln and the Civil War, followed by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Any ideas?

My philosophy of teaching at this point is to let the kids learn. If they are working on a project and are engaged, I will serve as a resource to them. If they are getting into trouble and not focused, I have a backup plan of what to study. Our second-grader likes to make his own movies. He is learning a lot doing that.

First Egg

God is calling our bluff. On Thursday, my hubby and I discussed our plans for 2008. We both wondered where all the money would come from. Finally, one of us, (I don't remember who) prayed. "If you want us to do these things, Lord, then you know how much they cost. Please provide for us."

Friday evening hubby let me know that God had surprised us in many ways with money. We would be okay. Thank you, God.

Saturday, we made a back of the envelope budget. We were still 4K short. But at least that is within spitting range. Now, the problem was, (as hubby saw it) his vacation time. We added up the various things we were committed to. They came to a couple weeks more than his allotted vacation time. "Oh, well," he said. As if it were all for nothing.

"How about asking God for more time?" I suggested.

"I don't know how he could do that."

"Well, why don't you ask Him?"

He prayed. We went home from our lunch. My mom called, and I found out that the birthday party for my Tia Carmen in Guatemala had been pushed to 2009.

I laughed. It was 2 weeks and $4K. Now we were right on budget and dangerously close to having enough time.

Last night there was an ice/snow storm here. Church was cancelled. We talked about making pancakes this morning. Until we realized we didn't have eggs. Hubby laughed, and suggested that if God wanted to provide eggs, the chickens could start laying.

Of course they did. Two eggs. One blue (broken) and a perfect green one. I didn't make pancakes. We had already had oatmeal when I found the eggs. But I did crack the green egg for eggwash for our bread for tonight.

I am so pleased with my egg. It was the darkest, most round yolk I have ever seen. More tomorrow, I trust. Since we have 20 hens (and one very happy rooster) we ought to be up to our eyeballs in eggs soon.

All I Want For Christmas. . .

He greeted me with the bloody, gaping hole. His tooth dangled. "Look, Mom!" My oldest was losing the second of his two top, front teeth. I force a smile as I am thinking, "Gross!" Wow. Guess I am out another dollar tonight. When I was a kid, it was a dime. But now it's a dollar.

What Are We Doing Here?

When I tell people that we moved here from California, the first thing people say is WHY? Why leave the perfect weather and all your friends? Well, we have a really great reason! So here it is:

I first heard about Option in the mid-80’s. I was attending college in Los Angeles, studying to be a teacher. I don’t remember how (perhaps it was part of the curriculum?) but I saw the movie, Son Rise, and then read the book. (Son Rise is the story of how Bears and Samahria Kaufmann loved and accepted their autistic son. They developed a program for him, based on the Option Process. He came out of his autism fully, and went on to graduate from Brown University with a degree in Biomedical Ethics. He currently acts as CEO for the institute.) I was deeply moved by their story. I found it all fascinating, but didn’t move on it. However, I tucked it away in my mind. (The cause is in the future.)

Fast forward to 2005. All my life I have wanted to be a wife and mother. I am a devout Christian, and always considered myself to be a happy person. But I was shocked by my own desperate unhappiness two-and-a-half years ago. I was married for 13 years to what everyone agreed was a wonderful man. We had two beautiful, healthy children, and one more on the way. Yet, I hated my life. It was everything I had ever wanted and I was miserable.

A close friend’s child was diagnosed with autism. Wanting to be helpful, I remembered Son Rise, and found it in our local library. Because my friend and I are both Christians, I reread it to be certain that it is something I want to share. It was. This sparked a renewed interested in Option for me. I noticed that Bears had written other books, including one on grieving. I had just lost my father to cancer and was inconsolable about it. I ordered the book. I got on the Option mailing list. I looked at the website (www.option.org).

Meanwhile, my husband, Jon and I were having an awful time. Different parenting philosophies have pitted us against each other. I felt he had left our marriage relationship for an unhealthy relationship placating our then 5 year old son. Jon judged me and my parenting relentlessly. I yelled at the kids constantly out of a feeling of utter powerlessness. I was at my wits’ end.

I ordered the “No Risk, No Fault Parenting” CDs. The first time I listened to them, I found them so radical that I thought Bears should be jailed! But by the fifth listen, I decided he was a genius. I gave it a try, and for a week, I didn’t yell at my kids. Which at that point was miraculous!

My husband noticed the change, and asked me about it. When I told him about the CDs he asked, “Do they have classes we could send you to?” So in May of 2005, I flew from San Diego out to Option for the Happiness Option Weekend (HOW). I believed in my heart that I would never come home. Sure, the CDs had helped, but eventually I went back to yelling. I felt so lost and depressed and out of control. I feared what I might do to one of the kids in a fit of anger. Jon and I had been in Christian counseling for years. But I felt as though things weren’t changing; only getting worse. I figured I would go to the Option weekend, and then fly someplace beautiful (like Tahiti) and disappear. I couldn’t face my life.

When I told the 100 or so people who had come to HOW that I was a Christian mom with two kids and another on the way. And that all I had ever wanted was to be a stay at home mom, but that now I hated it. And I was leaving and never coming back – Well, I expected people to stop me. I thought someone would say, “You can’t do that!” But no one did. Rather they challenged me that I had never been doing anything other than exactly what I wanted to do. And when I finally realized that no one was holding a gun to my head and making me stay; when I gave myself permission to go; that is when I realized that I wanted to stay. I wanted to be a mom to my kids. And I found a way to go back on my terms.

It was such an incredible change in me, that my husband starting reading the books, and attending the classes. When he returned from his first classes, I was surprised. He was once again the man I had married. I remembered again why I had loved him in the first place. So many years of judgments and anxiety were gone. And here was this wonderful happy person that I fell in love with all over again.

Last year we moved to the east coast from California so that he could pursue his dream of working at Option. He is a certified mentor (which means he works with people, helping them to gain clarity regarding their beliefs, and choose happiness regardless of their current circumstances), and is on his way to being an instructor. We want to lead the happiest lives we possibly can. We also want to learn everything that Option has to teach us, and make it accessible to the Christian Church. It is a powerful set of tools for living out the Gospel.

We are forever grateful to the Option Institute for giving us the tools with which to create the happy lives we have always wanted for ourselves and our children. I am a better mother, a better wife, a better follower of Jesus, and a happier me.

Why?

The little one, the 2 year old, has discovered the word why. It is her favorite response. I ask her to eat her dinner. Why? I tell her to pick up the blocks. Why? I say it's time for bed. Why?

Because I said so. Gosh that feels good to say. I mean, really, do I have to justify myself to a 2 year old? And the older kids, they say it too. I tell them, "Don't ask why. Just assume that I have a very good reason, say 'Yes Ma'am' and do it. Then, after you have done what I asked, if you still want to know, you may ask 'Why?'.

As soon as the words come off of my tongue, I hear it. That voice from within that I recognize as the Lord's voice. He says, gently, "yes, Paisley, my point exactly".

Oh. So this is how God feels when I question Him. Do I really expect Him to explain Himself? Or is His asking good enough for me? "Yes, Lord," I say in my head. "I see what you mean."

Not me!

There appears to be two new people in our family, by the name of Not Me and Nobody. Each time I ask the kids "who did this?" the answer is Not Me. Not Me has gotten into a lot of trouble lately. So I called out "Not Me?! Come here right now!" Nobody came. Nobody got all of Not Me's punishment. I feel sort of sorry for Nobody. But Not Me better watch out!

Never Say Never

We have a cat. Her name is Miss Kitty. We inherited her from Bill, an very special man who passed away recently.

I had told the kids that they could have a cat when they moved into their own homes. I am not a cat person! Definitely a dog person. But the move to the country has caused me to reconsider my dislike of cats. I never minded them in other people's homes. But I never wanted one. Never say never.

The country is full of mice. We have had many mice in both houses we've lived in here. When I complain (because I really hate mice!!), my friends here smile and suggest getting a cat.

Miss Kitty has a reputation as a great mouser. She has already rescued a sock from under a bureau. She is friendly with the kids, and knows how to escape to the basement should she want some privacy. Our four-year-old daughter is the cat's girl. She woke up this morning and got dressed so quickly. Then I took her downstairs and showed her how to feed Miss Kitty and scoop her litter.

Speaking of litter, I was told the cat was housebroken. But when I went to bed last night, it was not apparent if she had used the litter box. Not that I am fond of the ancient carpet here. But I do not like the smell of cat urine. So at 2 am, when I woke up and went down to stoke the fire, I was thrilled to see that Miss Kitty had used her litter box. It was all I could do to not wake up my husband to tell him. She's a great cat.